The Company You Keep
Are you surrounding yourself with the right people? If you’re not sure, keep reading.
The answer to this question and the solution to this answer….. WILL change your life! Do you have a friend, coworker, family member or someone in your world that you’re always trying to help with virtually no success? Do you have someone around you that doesn’t bring out the best in you? Do you spend time with someone who tells you that your dreams are too big or your ambitions are a waste of your time? Do you spend your time worrying about what that someone may think of you?
If you answered YES to any one of those questions then it’s time to do some cleaning up of the people around you. As hard as it is to rid yourself of those who aren’t there to uplift you, to see the good in you, to help you in a time of need, or to support your dreams, it must be done.
Your life is your choice. YOU are designing it every single day. That being said, when you surround yourself with people who take your time, energy and resources without any regard to your well being, it’s time to make a change!
There are many different scenarios but there are a few that stand out which I see on a regular basis in coaching. One of those scenarios is having someone that you want to help. There are people that come into our lives, or are in our lives by way of family or friends, that we want to help so badly. The question you have to ask yourself is, “Do they want to succeed as much as I want them to succeed?” If the answer is no, then you must take a step back and ask yourself how much time you are willing to commit to this relationship. You cannot want more for someone than they want for themselves.
Another scenario I see is relationships with coworkers, spouses, friends and family members where they are not supportive, not uplifting, overly judgmental, unappreciative and sometimes downright destructive. These people must go as well. I’m not saying to run off and get divorced if your spouse is not supportive but most certainly find some professional help that can mend the problem or remove yourself from the situation. This scenario will continue to destroy you and your dreams if you allow it.
When I say, “if you allow it”, I am reinforcing that the choice is on you. Again, you choose your life, you choose your friends, your coworkers, you can’t always choose your family but you can choose how much time to spend with them or on them and also how much influence they have on you.
Imagine…. You wake up in the morning to someone who cares about how your day will go. You get to work and the people there appreciate what you do and how hard you work. You call your friends and they ask how your day was and how they can help and support you. This is an option if you want it to be.
A few quick solutions to expelling those negative people:
- Try being the person you want everyone else around you to be. Often times people will mirror you. Be happy, joyful and grateful for the everything around you every day.
- DO NOT tolerate complaining at any level! Ask people to stop when they begin to complain. Ask them how they plan to fix their problem rather than allow them to go on and on. Typically people stop coming to you to complain if you ask how they will fix it.
- Pay attention to how much time you spend on worrying about other people. When you catch yourself worrying about someone make sure to be aware of whether it’s productive or a waste of your time.
- Recognize that you cannot want more for someone than they want for themselves. Sometimes when we try to help someone we are limiting their ability to help themselves.
There is so much more on this topic but the basic summary is to be sure that you are choosing the people around you carefully. Sometimes it’s hard and seems impossible to rid yourself of the negative people in your world. It may take time but it will change your life!
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